Seeing as I posted about how I disliked my own hair as a bride, I thought I’d share some tips for how to avoid the situation I found myself in. I’ve tried to be a bit more specific than just ‘book in advance’ and ‘try out lots of styles’, so hopefully they’ll be useful!
Book as early as you can to keep your options for salons/hairdressers as open as you can.
If it’s a quick wedding, be prepared to potentially make a sacrifice of being able to go to the salon you want/having the right hairdresser come to visit you. There’s a lot to think about when you first get engaged, of course, and there are greater priorities initially (venue, food etc). But that doesn’t mean you can’t start shopping around and being aware of what might be available.
Note down what makes a ‘bad hair day’.
This is a big one. What, for you, constitutes a bad hair day?
A fringe gap?
Frizz?
Kinks?
Flaky/itchy scalp?
Greasiness?
Tight hair grips?
Not enough hairspray?
A poor cut that doesn’t frame your face well?
Probably all of these things will be considered bad, especially for a wedding, but each of us will have things that frustrate us more than others. Rank them in order of ‘least worst’ to ‘worst’, then you’ll know when it comes to the wedding day what’s worth spending an extra 10 minutes, or even half an hour to fix. Maybe the thing you hate the most still isn’t worth being late to the wedding for, but thinking about it before the day means you won’t get caught up having to make a snap decision on the day if something goes wrong. It’s easy to assume you’ll want your hair to be tip-top perfect in a snap decision, because you envisage having tip-top perfect hair constantly in the run-up to the day, but if you’re a polite British-ass like me, you might end up forfeiting something you regret.
Know your hair.
This bit’s easy! You’ll already know exactly what it’s prone to do. You’ll know how it looks when it dries naturally, you’ll know if it gets greasy after 10 minutes of playing around with it, you’ll know if it tangles easily in the wind, you’ll know if it has a strong natural parting … but it’s so easy to not use this to your advantage. You can get so caught up in looking at styles on Pinterest and thinking, even knowing, that something you’ve pinned will really suit you. But if your hair does get greasy quickly and the style will take a lot of hands-on work, will it be the best idea?
It’s important, obviously, to pass as much of this information on to your hairdresser, and if they know what they’re doing, they’ll be able to advise some cheat methods or alternatives.
Be realistic about what the pre-styling session (if you can afford to have one) can achieve.
When you get a pre-styling a month or so before the day to test things out, it might not be possible to test out every possible style fully without spending hours (or wrecking your hair), so your hairdresser might just do a rough version. In which case, ask specific questions. What about the hair will look different? Will more time be spent with the curling ion? Because you might think you like the rough version and pick it as your favourite, but it might be your favourite because the curls are loose. Explain exactly what it is you like or don’t like about each style.
If it takes a while for you to think about it and process it, chat it through with a friend after the hairdresser has gone or you’ve left the salon (maybe even have a friend/bridesmaid with you for the appointment itself), and make sure plenty of pictures have been taken.
Be specific about as much as you can.
The exact length and volume of a fringe, for example, can massively impact the overall effect. The exact angle of a half-up half-down style might be different to what the hairdresser thinks you want (is it exactly half? Do you just want the top layer up? How many layers are there? Will all the hair around your face be brushed back and what’s left ‘down’ is the section at the back, or do you want hair covering your ears?). Hair colour and the way it is coloured can affect how hair style is perceived. Your neckline on your dress can affect it! There’s honestly so much! But the good thing is, there’s usually more than one style that will look good, so there should still be plenty of options.
Have a Plan B.
If something just isn’t working for you on the day, have a simple and quick hairstyle as a back-up. This will depend on what has already been attempted - if your hair has been tightly curled, you might want to avoid brushing it out, so be realistic. But I say it because I honestly believe I would have been happier with a french plait, rewashing and straightening my fringe, and throwing in some fancy clips. Tell your hairdresser what your Plan B is before the day so that you don’t cause offence, and obviously still pay them for their full time. It just might be so that even after careful planning, your hair is still not quite what you expected or wanted now that you’ve put on your dress, done your makeup and are stood next to your flawless bridesmaids.
In the end...
It’s worth saying that all is not lost even if your hair isn’t quite what you expected. You have to know yourself well enough to know what is just a niggly feeling you’ll forget later vs a niggly feeling you’ll regret later. Your bridesmaids/mother/friends will be there for you in this and can tell you honestly if you’re just flapping for no reason or if something’s not quite right. Even if after all this, you later realise you made the wrong decision about your hair, as long as getting married is the right decision, all will be fine. Don’t set your expectations too high! Nonetheless, I hope these tips can help make your day extra special!
Book as early as you can to keep your options for salons/hairdressers as open as you can.
If it’s a quick wedding, be prepared to potentially make a sacrifice of being able to go to the salon you want/having the right hairdresser come to visit you. There’s a lot to think about when you first get engaged, of course, and there are greater priorities initially (venue, food etc). But that doesn’t mean you can’t start shopping around and being aware of what might be available.
Note down what makes a ‘bad hair day’.
This is a big one. What, for you, constitutes a bad hair day?
A fringe gap?
Frizz?
Kinks?
Flaky/itchy scalp?
Greasiness?
Tight hair grips?
Not enough hairspray?
A poor cut that doesn’t frame your face well?
Probably all of these things will be considered bad, especially for a wedding, but each of us will have things that frustrate us more than others. Rank them in order of ‘least worst’ to ‘worst’, then you’ll know when it comes to the wedding day what’s worth spending an extra 10 minutes, or even half an hour to fix. Maybe the thing you hate the most still isn’t worth being late to the wedding for, but thinking about it before the day means you won’t get caught up having to make a snap decision on the day if something goes wrong. It’s easy to assume you’ll want your hair to be tip-top perfect in a snap decision, because you envisage having tip-top perfect hair constantly in the run-up to the day, but if you’re a polite British-ass like me, you might end up forfeiting something you regret.
Know your hair.
This bit’s easy! You’ll already know exactly what it’s prone to do. You’ll know how it looks when it dries naturally, you’ll know if it gets greasy after 10 minutes of playing around with it, you’ll know if it tangles easily in the wind, you’ll know if it has a strong natural parting … but it’s so easy to not use this to your advantage. You can get so caught up in looking at styles on Pinterest and thinking, even knowing, that something you’ve pinned will really suit you. But if your hair does get greasy quickly and the style will take a lot of hands-on work, will it be the best idea?
It’s important, obviously, to pass as much of this information on to your hairdresser, and if they know what they’re doing, they’ll be able to advise some cheat methods or alternatives.
Be realistic about what the pre-styling session (if you can afford to have one) can achieve.
When you get a pre-styling a month or so before the day to test things out, it might not be possible to test out every possible style fully without spending hours (or wrecking your hair), so your hairdresser might just do a rough version. In which case, ask specific questions. What about the hair will look different? Will more time be spent with the curling ion? Because you might think you like the rough version and pick it as your favourite, but it might be your favourite because the curls are loose. Explain exactly what it is you like or don’t like about each style.
If it takes a while for you to think about it and process it, chat it through with a friend after the hairdresser has gone or you’ve left the salon (maybe even have a friend/bridesmaid with you for the appointment itself), and make sure plenty of pictures have been taken.
Be specific about as much as you can.
The exact length and volume of a fringe, for example, can massively impact the overall effect. The exact angle of a half-up half-down style might be different to what the hairdresser thinks you want (is it exactly half? Do you just want the top layer up? How many layers are there? Will all the hair around your face be brushed back and what’s left ‘down’ is the section at the back, or do you want hair covering your ears?). Hair colour and the way it is coloured can affect how hair style is perceived. Your neckline on your dress can affect it! There’s honestly so much! But the good thing is, there’s usually more than one style that will look good, so there should still be plenty of options.
Have a Plan B.
If something just isn’t working for you on the day, have a simple and quick hairstyle as a back-up. This will depend on what has already been attempted - if your hair has been tightly curled, you might want to avoid brushing it out, so be realistic. But I say it because I honestly believe I would have been happier with a french plait, rewashing and straightening my fringe, and throwing in some fancy clips. Tell your hairdresser what your Plan B is before the day so that you don’t cause offence, and obviously still pay them for their full time. It just might be so that even after careful planning, your hair is still not quite what you expected or wanted now that you’ve put on your dress, done your makeup and are stood next to your flawless bridesmaids.
In the end...
It’s worth saying that all is not lost even if your hair isn’t quite what you expected. You have to know yourself well enough to know what is just a niggly feeling you’ll forget later vs a niggly feeling you’ll regret later. Your bridesmaids/mother/friends will be there for you in this and can tell you honestly if you’re just flapping for no reason or if something’s not quite right. Even if after all this, you later realise you made the wrong decision about your hair, as long as getting married is the right decision, all will be fine. Don’t set your expectations too high! Nonetheless, I hope these tips can help make your day extra special!
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